After a lovely evening at Suspension, I decided to revamp my FetLife profile. A few positive hours of spanking very pretty strangers will do that to you.

About me
Writer, New Yorker, hedonist, poly, dandy, kinky, daddy, top, switch. Man of letters. Man of great hungers. Man about town.

I’m interested in doing complicated things with complex people who have diverse tastes.

I am most comfortable topping. I am good at being mean. I am a caring sadist. I like figuring out how people work and then taking advantage of that knowledge. I enjoy leaving marks, making people make funny noises, and basically controlling someone’s pleasure, pain, and comfort.

I am far more picky about bottoming. I bottom to pain and enjoy being in service to those I have a strong connection with. I am an able valet and a considerate service top. Being queened is one of my top kinks, though more the physical act than the associated humiliation play.

I love co-topping and middling. I am most comfortable as a hired thug.

I enjoy ageplay, as a big. Dirty uncle, bully older brother, and other mixed dynamics are fun. I am only a daddy to my girl.

Most of what you want/need to know about me can be found on my erotica site, Erotica, true stories, rants and sex toy reviews. Buy my books.

If I’ve violated anyone’s boundaries, as a top or a bottom, I’d like to know about it so I can apologize, and help resolve conflicts about boundaries and safewords and power.

Note: With few exceptions, I only friend people I have met or plan to meet in the NYC area.




It was so delightful, shooting with @natashagornik for this series. We met late morning at my studio and danced with the light that streamed in from my westward facing windows. Natasha is always such a pleasure - but I love her face and demeanor when she’s crafting so very much. A special treat of an interaction.  



There are no kinks, fetishes, perversions, or even dark fantasies that make me even remotely as uncomfortable as writing even one sentence about what it is like being both a sexual being and a fat man.

And let me note that this is a good example of something that sucks, but is pretty low on the spectrum of things that suck in the world. As a fat white queerish man, the impact of me not being portrayed as a someone who deserves pleasure in any reasonably respectful way is problematic, but indicative of a whole other array of problems. So yeah, what I’m trying to say is, it is important to contextualize your problems. That fight is one of many and doesn’t diminish any other fights.